Wife Says Family's Broke, Husband Reminds Her They're Millionaires

Author image for mattstaff
mattstaff
Apr 23, 2021 4:00 PM EDT

Honestly, it's probably best to do what you can to steer clear of those revealing talks about the state of your personal finances around the dinner table. Especially whenever there might be some alcohol involved. There are just certain subjects that have a tendency to set people on edge. In this scenario, we have a couple who ends up being at odds over how they present the state of their financials to the rest of the world. The wife wants to paint a BS picture of them being broke, while the husband is more concerned with people knowing that they're in fact millionaires. Maybe just take a break from sharing all that information, and focus on something else. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - AITA for revealing our net worth when my wife constantly says we are broke and making me look bad with money? Not the A-hole I (31M) have been with my wife (30F) for 10 years now and she always has had this habit of making me look bad with our finances. Whenever anything regarding spending money comes up she will always say how broke we are and she doesn't have the money to do this or buy that. The thing is we are doing well financially. We have decent jobs and combine our salary is rough
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 02
    Font - As of today our net worth is more than $1 million but less than 2. I had saved/invested a lot before getting married so I gave us a good head start. I control the finances/take the lead but we both agreed to living a very modest life. We both have our cars from college for example (Honda & Toyota). She knows everything about our finances because at least once a month I go over it with her every time I deposit money in our investment accounts or our kids college funds. For banking we have
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 03
    Font - A few months ago we had dinner with her friends and they talked buying a new car. My wife said something like, 'I wish I could get a new car but I'm always broke after paying the bills. We still have our college cars!' (EDIT: Wife does not want a new car). She will go on to talk about if she had money what she would want to buy and it always makes me feel ashamed. This 'I'm broke story' has been happening for years. When we were driving home I asked her about. She understood we have the m
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 04
    Font - The same conversation has come up numerous times about us being broke. Recently, I reminded her numerous tikes it makes me feel and look bad infront of friends and family. I told her if she keeps saying stuff like that I will reveal that we are doing well with money. I gave her a few reminders l'd eventually do this but she kept going with the I'm broke story. At a dinner with her sister and parents the same l'm broke story came up. I piped in and said, 'It's weird to hear a millionaire s
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 05
    Font - Now my wife is mad at me for using that line and revealing roughly how much money we have. She said it seems like I'm gloating. I say its better than making me look like l'm running us into the ground fincially. So AITA for revealing our networth when my wife says we are broke? EDIT: Final update for now as we have a long weekend planned. Some key points I saw a lot of and wanted to give answers. -l'm pretty open to us spending money and I don't restrict her spending. She has the CC to sp
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 06
    Font - -My job is in demand and pays well because nobody wants to live out in my area. So after expenses I take home a lot more than I would living in a major city. Probably 3 to 4 times more net savings annually if I had to guess. -She doesn't want a new car and has told me that multiple times. She doesn't like driving and feels comfortable with her current car. -She doesn't know what she wants to do when she retires. I know I'll be golfing, games, and eating edibles most days. I don't do any o
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 07
    Rectangle - 2 O 12 Awards NTA. She was dismissive of your feelings and was constantly lying to the people around her. It's a classic case of play stupid games, win stupid prizes. G Reply 4 25.2k 3 ...
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 08
    Font - justamanwithaguitar · 2d 1 Award I think the NTA/ESH depends on how much control there is of finances - sounds like she has to ask for a raise in an allowance from her own earnings? I'm all for living within a budget but marriage isn't supposed to involve one person acting like a bank manager G Reply 4 146 3 ...
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 09
    Font - BreuckelenWoman • 1d NTA You are a saver and an investor. You 'control' the finances but it seems that you and your wife know how much is in what account. But what is your wife's relationship to money? Did she grow up less advantaged than you? Does she think that if money is not in the checking account ready for easy access it is not there? Is she ashamed of how much money you have? It might be worth exploring her feelings towards money with a counselor. Neither of you should be discussin
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 10
    Organism - spaceygracie12· 1d NTA- i think you could have said it in a gentler way like "we aren't broke, we just invest most of our money for now, but honey if you want a new car you can get a new car". It isn't right for your wife to pretend you are barely scraping by when you have close to 2 million. G Reply 金 25 ...
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 11
    Font - Historicallnaccurate • 2d · Partassipant [3] NTA - You told her directly how her statements made you feel and asked her to stop. She did not, so you told her when she made her statements you would state what the actual truth was. She brought this on herself because she wanted to make herself the center of attention when people brought up money. G Reply ...
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 12
    Font - NTA. You're just being honest, she's just throwing herself a pity party by acting broke. G Reply 272 3 ...
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 13
    Font - Youmelala • 1d · Partassipant [1] Weird situation, she's out of line claiming you're broke when you're not. You probably went too far with the millionaire line but given your previous discussions with her and the fact this was in front of close family they know you and probably already wonder why she keeps claiming to be poor. I don't think it's right to jump to OP being controlling, maybe his wife is an impulsive spender or someone who just wants to LOOK rich instead of being patient wit
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 14
    Font - responsible4self • 1d NTA - While I appreciate your wife's modesty, the broke story needs to end. I'm not comfortable discussing my finances with others. I'm frugal, I prefer to save. Many of the people I associate with are different. If they had my bank account they would likely share more of it, but then they wouldn't keep the balance I have accrued. I don't voice my opinion on their lifestyle, and I certainly don't want to hear how they think I should spend my money. If I was your wife
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 15
    Rectangle - fatfarko69 • 1d NTA. I'm really curious as to why your wife would prefer everyone to think you are both broke rather than that you are well off. It's like she just wants attention and pity. G Reply ...
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 16
    Font - Unsolicitedadvice13 · 2d NTA. You told her numerous times how her saying this makes you feel. She really doesn't need to keep giving her friends this sob story when it's not true AND that it hurts you G Reply ...
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe
  • 17
    Font - U_Dun_Know_Who_l_Am • 1d · Partassipant [2] NTA, it sounds like she does not like talking about money because it feels like a gloat, which i relate too, but she should have changed the wording after you told her it made you uncomfortable. "Oh I would love a new car, but we are saving for our kids college fund and retiment. But if I did get a new one bla bla bla" Or just leave money out of it "I would love a new car but can't justify it to myself while the old one is still in such good sha
    via u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

aita marriage FAIL finance relationships Reddit money dramatic
Scroll Down For The Next Article